When it comes to your voice, your psychology DEFINITELY affects your physiology. Your thoughts are powerful! What you think about your voice, especially at a subconscious level, can actually keep it from producing the sound and tone quality you are truly wanting. Don’t believe it? You should.
Finding the freedom and the power you want in your vocal performance is 80% getting a handle on what is going on between your own two ears and 20% practicing and strengthening the voice with excellent technique practiced regularly. Almost every person I’ve coached has dealt with limiting beliefs and lies about themselves and their voices. Today I want to expose 5 of the top lies that I’ve encountered with my clients that you might be believing about your voice as well.
Lie #1: “My voice is not worth working on.”
When people find out what I do, they sheepishly tell me they feel a true calling to bring a message to the world using their voice. Yet, they admit to being totally blocked. A deeper dive reveals the common problem:
They can’t get past their inner critic who mutters day and night in their heads, telling them on the regular how much their voice sucks.
This message can be so relentless and so painful that the idea of spending time working on their voice ranks right up there with getting a root canal. They associate voice work with pain and avoid it like the plague. Spend money or time on themselves to work with a vocal coach? Never! It would be far too embarrassing to speak or sing in front of someone like that, and a colossal waste of everyone’s time.
So, they stuff their message and any other ambitions they may have had deep inside, and shrug it off that, while it might be good for OTHER people to pursue, THEIR voice is not worth working on and certainly never going to be suitable for human consumption. You can forget about it, pal.
TRUTH: Simply put, your inner critic is a liar! Your voice is actually worth working on, ESPECIALLY when you have a message burning in your heart! Friend, the pull you sense deep in your soul towards showing up and speaking out in the world, is your Destiny pleading with you! It is your time to rise up, show up, tell your inner critic to shut up, and move forward to answer the call on your life!
Lie #2: “I have nothing to say.”
It happens too often that I encounter an amazing person with so much potential who has given in to the lie that they have absolutely nothing to say. Instead of showing up and speaking up as the best version of themselves, this person believes the lie that they have nothing to say and turns to a life of hiding. They often become excellent employees, self-sacrificing parents, or diligent friends who race to come alongside as support for whatever OTHER’S dreams and goals are. They get strokes from the people they help, which soothes their need for worthiness, but inside they feel like they are missing something crucial. Often they’ve so shut down to their own heart and voice, they can’t even put into words what they feel truly called to do or say.
TRUTH: Guess what? YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. You do! We all do! And not only that, the world is literally waiting for you to show up and say it. Your freedom to rise up and use your own voice could literally mean life or death to someone else in the world. Somebody is literally praying for YOU to show up today. What are you gonna do about it? The work to get yourself free so you can speak up!
Lie #3: “Everything and everyone else must come first.”
It is difficult to prioritize finding your voice and making your sound when you don’t believe your voice should be the priority. Whether you are a busy parent or a high-level business person, it is often so much easier to over-schedule your life with things that are good, while completely ignoring the best: the thing you are actually called to do in the world today.
TRUTH: It is true that life is lived in seasons when different things should be prioritized, but if you are reading this article, you may be a person who has found every excuse in the book to walk away from your calling to use your voice and you know it is time to do things differently. It is time to get honest and ask yourself why? Why do you always put your voice on the back burner? It is time to keep your promises to yourself and prioritize your voice.
Lie #4: “Practice takes too much time.”
If you don’t struggle with the first three lies, this one might still get you if you don’t really value the voice itself. You use excuses like you don’t have time to practice. Or, there is nowhere that you can practice where not a human soul can hear you. Maybe you hate not knowing how to do things exactly. Perhaps your voice feels out of control and wild.
TRUTH: Daily use of your voice should be a priority and it doesn’t have to take forever. Lip trills are always a good exercise to do. Utilize the free resources here at The Voice Love Co. to help you get those pipes warmed up and working smoothly. Practicing when you are alone in the car is not great, but if it is your only option, it is better than nothing. Catch those moments to use your voice when you can.
Lie #5: “I will NEVER get any better.”
Starting anything from scratch can be a daunting thing. As you try things vocally, you do hear a distorted version of the sound you are producing as it resonates around inside your own head.
TRUTH: You must accept and allow yourself to be a beginner in order to grow. It is more than just thinking happy thoughts and lying to yourself about how you really feel about your voice. You must get to the point of being okay with feeling uncomfortable in order to grow. Make personal growth your goal! Push past how you think it sounds and keep vocalizing anyway. Your voice will reward you for the effort, I promise!
Kicking these 5 lies out of your life is simple, but it is definitely not easy. It is simple to say, “I see these lies for what they are and I’m not going to believe them anymore.” The difficulty comes in actually walking that out. You have to renew your mind with positive messages of truth. Retraining your brain toward belief in yourself is a must, as well. Take a close look at what you are believing deep down about your voice and yourself. See if any of these lies are exposed. You might uncover some new ones, too. Then, TAKE ACTION. Do all you can to crush them and kick them out of your life forever!