Rejection. No matter where you are at in life as a performer, either at the peak of your career or at a low ebb professionally, learning how to deal with rejection after an audition is crucial. As people who stand up in front of others and take risks creatively, we are susceptible to being moved by rejection one way or the other.
Did you know? You have the power to CHOOSE how rejection affects you!
Rejection is part of being a performer. Period. It is our reality.
It is time that you decide to have a healthy relationship with rejection starting now. Today we are going to unpack what people who handle rejection well are doing and how they make rejection actually work FOR themselves!
Decide what rejection is going to be for you.
People who handle rejection well know exactly who they are, so they don’t take it personally. The truth is a lot of times the rejection you are experiencing as a performer is not personal. You don’t know what rules or parameters the directors or judging panel have to meet that they are projecting onto you when you walk into an audition room. If you don’t get into a show or the college theatre program you’ve tried out for it may be less about you and much more about them and the role they are trying to fill. You must decide early on what rejection is going to be in your life. Is it going to crush you or fuel you? The choice is yours.
The Power of: “Can’t Change It.”
People who handle rejection well keep on feeling their feelings even when it hurts, but they do so for a finite amount of time.
Hal Elrod in his wonderful book “The Miracle Morning” speaks of how he managed to overcome devastating injuries he sustained after being hit by a drunk driver in an accident that nearly took his life in his early twenties. The accident was so violent, it split his car in two. When he was told by the doctors that he would never walk again, he made a powerful choice. When he came up against self-pity or anger at his situation, Hal would allow himself to feel his feelings for five minutes. Then he would say, “Can’t change it!” and move forward in his rehabilitation. Because of this, he went from being told he would never walk again, to taking his first step only a few weeks after his accident!
Accept & Allow
Hal talks about the importance of mastering the power of “Acceptance” by completely letting go of all negative emotions. He discovered that he felt happier than he’d ever felt before, despite his current circumstances. Because of his ability to change his mental state, and after a lot of hard work and prayer, he was able to change his physical state and overcome his injuries completely.
Look, performers who have a healthy relationship with rejection aren’t superhuman. Rejection is not fun. It hurts! But they don’t shut down emotionally. They have mastered the power of acceptance by completely letting go of all their negative emotions. You will see them feel their feelings for a set amount of time, realize they’ve been rejected, that’s it, they ‘can’t change it’ and then they do something powerful: they let it go. They don’t obsess about it. In fact, they use it to fuel their progress as artists.
Ask: What Can I Learn?
People who handle rejection well look at it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
When it is appropriate, they ask for feedback that might help them do better the next time they audition. (Keyword: When it is appropriate!) Then they take what they learned, get more training in their weak areas, practice harder and continue to make becoming better as a performer and artist their goal. They never stop improving!
They see rejection as a vehicle for learning and opportunity every time. And if they don’t see an opportunity to learn something for some reason? They don’t give it a second thought! They drop it and keep on trucking down the road to what they KNOW they are supposed to do in the world.
People who handle rejection well actively work on their mindset.
They are constantly reprogramming their brain for greatness. You will observe them putting in positive messages and beliefs about who they are on the daily, and then they camp there in this positive space mentally. You’ll see them saying things like: “Same you, new mood!” And they keep going. They do not allow themselves the luxury of self-pity or negativity. There is no time for that nonsense in their lives! They know that they are called to greatness, and will continue to train and think like a champion until they see their destiny manifest. Woosh! Powerful!
Rejection is Protection
People who handle rejection well see rejection as protection!
They believe that something larger than themselves is guiding their lives. So, if they didn’t get a part that they really wanted, they stay in a place of belief that life is ever still and will always be working FOR them. They choose to believe that they are being protected and funneled into the exact spot where they are supposed to be today. They walk in gratitude and joy as they patiently do the daily work mentally and physically to be ready for when that right door opens for them.
Who Are These People?
You know who the people are who have a healthy relationship with rejection: Performers!
They are the ones you see on stage and screen because THEY NEVER QUIT. They changed their relationship with rejection. It is not something to avoid. In fact, they see rejection as evidence that they are living a full life and taking the necessary risks needed to try. They view rejection as FUEL, not as a funeral march to the death of their dreams. Rejection is their lucky charm! They believe that the more they encounter it, the closer they are to reaching their calling and goals in life.
Dear One, rejections are part of the process. Rejection does not mean you are not talented. Nobody gets everything they try out for. NOBODY. From college auditions to regular auditions, rejections are the nature of the business. It is going to be important that you forge a healthy relationship with rejection starting TODAY so that you can meet your goals and dreams going forward.
Here are four questions you can ask yourself when you are staring down another rejection:
•Who do I know myself to be?
•What do I believe rejection is for me in my life?
•What can I learn from this rejection?
•How is life FOR me right now?
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